he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize
