Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
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