very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
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