He disabled his match.com account in front of me
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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