do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
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