U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
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