Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
Randomize
