i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Randomize
