i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
Randomize
