I'd wear matching sweaters with you
haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
Randomize
