Umm I'm too high to move.
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Randomize
