Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
Randomize