You're a womanizer and a bitch.
Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
Randomize
