how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
Just cropdusted the office
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize
