So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Randomize
