In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
