He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
