Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
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