i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
The cops high fived after they tackled you
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
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