their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
