Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Randomize
