Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
Randomize
