i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Randomize
