i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
Randomize
