i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
