I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
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