In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Randomize