Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
Randomize
