I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
Randomize
