I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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