Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
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