I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Randomize
