I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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