There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
it glows. i had to have it.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Randomize
