Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
Randomize