I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
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