Hey man sorry I got all grabby
I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Randomize
