fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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