..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Randomize
