How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
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