Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
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