Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
Randomize