We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
Randomize
