Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
