I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
Randomize
