Sorry, I don't speak sober.
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
