everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Randomize
