I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
