the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Randomize