Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Randomize
