Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
