He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
