jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
no. you can't hotbox the world.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
Randomize
