I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Randomize
