Did you just see the Batmobile???
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
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