Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
Randomize
