How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
Randomize
