just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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