erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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