Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
