just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize
