Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
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