i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
All the doctor said was why
Randomize
