Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
Randomize
