drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
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