About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
Randomize
