a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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